The term “epic fail” is thrown around a lot, but I don’t know if it applies any moreso than right here.  Unless it’s meant as a joke/critique on society… but for some reason, I really don’t think so.

From @jaredr’s Twitter.  (It’s not his arm, though.)

But this… is his tattoo.  Looks like it hurt.  Hope he never gets fat.

New games come out all the time, and we are forced to upgrade.  This especially applies to online games, where the lobbies empty – and stay that way – shortly after release, as gamers move back to their old Halo 3 or Call of Duty standby.  Tattoos last longer than the video game industry has been around.  Seems a little… permanent, doesn’t it?

You know when you go to a Street Fighter tournament, and there’s one guy there that’s obviously way too hardcore into the game because he dresses up as Ryu? When it’s time to pair off the contestants, guess which one you get? Yep. That guy. The guy off to the side that bounces in place in a very convincing Ryu battle stance while the tournament rules are being read. The guy that, if he doesn’t win, has wasted countless hours of his life that he will never get back on a game that he’s only second best at. I lost to that guy in the first round. Then I cheered for him, because when you lose to the eventual winner, you don’t feel so bad. Well, Ryu-guy lost later… oh well. I’m not good at Street Fighter. Still, I want to be. I might actually buy a strategy guide for SF4. Weird! Why buy something for $20 that you can get a GameFAQs.com for free? First, because the art is b-e-a-utiful. Second, because then I can read it in the bathroom. Nothing beats improving yourself while you poo. Still, I don’t have 10-12 hours a day that I can devote to one game to be the best in the world. Sure, it’s a lot cheaper than buying a new game every couple of weeks, but just the sheer time investment is almost unfathomable. Professional gamers have dedication to something that, in all reality, is nothing. Being good at a game doesn’t mean you have real, marketable skills. Having 16 level 60 WoW characters doesn’t mean you can get a six-digit job being a WoWzer. Being able to 100% Through the Fire and Flames will get you a mention in Guinness but it won’t get you much free money. You can’t just rest on your laurels like you can if you won the Super Bowl or the Tour de France. You can retire and not have to work for the rest of your life; you’re set. Gamer culture is fast-moving, fickle, and ever-more-demanding. There’s always someone to challenge you. Can you stay on top?

This Saturday, there is a Street Fighter IV tournament at your local GameStop. Practice quick, the game just came out today! Luckily for SF aficionados, most of the moves are the same. I haven’t played SF since the SNES days… but I have Saturday off, so why not try it out? If I lose, I’ll have wasted an hour of my life mingling with other nerdy otaku types. But the winners go to regionals, and then nationals! That might be fun… or it might be AWESOME.

…in your living room.

Street Fighter IV releases tomorrow in America after selling out in Japan. Every copy in stores is now in someone’s home. Wow. I haven’t played a fighting game seriously since my friend Vega and I got every single costume in DOA 2: Hardcore on the PS2. Come to think of it, that was the last time I had friends that would actually hang out with me… Fighting games just aren’t as fun alone. Still, I am a fan of the classics. I haven’t found a single review of SF4 that doesn’t say, “keeps the best of the old while bringing in the best of the new.” Apparently, it is the perfect sequel, and I will actually pay my hard-earned $60 to see a game company make a perfect upgrade of a genre they invented that was on the verge of death. Fighting games have always been about direct one-on-one competition, and now that Street Fighter finally has online play, maybe I can get into the genre a little better. It’s hard to find people to come over and play video games all night when there’s school, jobs, and girlfriends in the way. Now that I know there are people gaming at 3 a.m. when I finally drag myself home from Domino’s, I can find friends again in a game that, until yesterday, I honestly had no intention of buying. I want to be part of something great, something beautiful.